It’s Time for Some Downtime
Create Your Own Retreat
By Carrie McHale Reed
The global pandemic has put a wrinkle in our “normal” routines causing all of us to recalibrate our lives. What we thought would last only a short time has turned into a whole new world. For some, this change has brought on more time alone or with limited social interaction, now managing remote learning, while navigating online work from home. For others, not much has changed as being an essential worker has ramped up workload, doing more with less and having little time to oneself to unwind.
Whichever scenario fits or even if it’s somewhere in between, it is crucial you take some time for downtime. 2020 has been quite the year. Be good to yourself this season. You deserve it!
This article will help you make the space to retreat and relax if even in the smallest of spaces or timeframes.
Opening Ceremony
Your opening ceremony is how you step into your retreat time. This is where you prepare your space, mind, and heart to retreat to a calm, quiet, and relaxed state.
Since you are creating a “mini” retreat, you can keep it simple. Once you create a retreat design meaningful to you, turn it into ritual and repeat it whenever you need a respite or to just get away for a moment. Doesn’t this sound fun?
In this article, I will outline some simple guidelines to help you make your mini-retreat a worthwhile experience. Some of the areas I will cover are creating intention, selecting just the right materials for your retreat, where to have your retreat, and how to truly let go and live into your retreat experience.
Create Intention
Before beginning your retreat, it is vital to create your intention around it. What do you desire to get out of your mini-retreat? What do you need to or want to focus on? Is it simply a time for you to “just be” or do you want to use the time to reflect on your life and a recent experience you have had, or perhaps you’d like to use the quiet time to journal to create the next phase of your business or home improvement plan.
After all, it is your retreat, so being intentional about what you want and how it will go is your choice.
In my coaching practice, I often ask my clients to create an intention for our work together. Intention serves as a guide and gentle reminder of what we said we would do and the experience we desire to have.
How do you do it? It’s simple, really. Find a quiet space, pull out your journal and begin to write. Ask yourself a couple of firestarter questions like these listed to help you define what you want to get out of your mini-retreat.
1. Simply put, how do I want to spend my precious time today?
2. What do I truly want in my life right now?
3. What do I need to let go of or release?
4. Where do I need to focus more attention?
5. What’s missing in my life right now?
6. What would I like to be doing more of right now?
7. What is my soul craving?
8. What has my body been telling me?
9. What is my heart crying out for?
10. What do I want to call into existence in my life?
As the statement goes, these are fire starters, meant to ignite a deeper thinking in you. By thinking more deeply about what is important to you right now, you are opening up your mind, heart and spirit to creating an intention that will help guide you into the mini-retreat perfect for you. An added side benefit? You can continue to use and work with the same intention in your daily living.
Once you have decided on the area on which you are going to focus, for your opening ceremony, try to distill your retreat intention down to a descriptive word or theme. For example, if you are going to work on expanding or transforming your business given our new world, your retreat theme word may be courage.
The rest of this article focuses on the elements you will need to open, close and host the best retreat for yourself. YOU and only you can create the contents (or middle parts) of your retreat, so I will leave that up to your own creativity.
Retreat Tools
For your retreat to be a fulfilling one for you, it is essential you take stock of the supplies you will need during your sacred time. These tools can range from special tokens, symbols, scents, sounds, art supplies, photos, passages and the like. Moreover, collect anything that will ignite your 5 senses and help make a peaceful, meaningful space for you.
Some tools to consider in creating intention for your retreat are:
A journal to jot down your feelings, thoughts, and desires for your special time
Any notes or thoughts you’ve been pondering that will help you in creating your intention
Special verses, inspirational quotes or readings
A special candle to light as you acknowledge and write down your intention
An offering to give up in honor of this special respite (e.g., flowers, seeds to plant, etc.)
Music if you desire to bring in your own ambient sound
Any tools that will help you further reflect or manifest your intentions (such as acrylics, paint brushes, canvas, clay to mold, colored pencils, crayons, paper and the like)
A comfortable place to sit (your favorite chair, pillows, yoga mat, soft blanket, etc.)
A writing surface as needed (if out in nature, bring a hard-back clip board or book)
Your favorite writing instrument
A symbol of peace, courage, gratitude or something that represents your intention
Environment
Depending on the length of your retreat, you can basically have your retreat anywhere you desire. If you are long on time and have a day or more to spare (drive time included) you may decide to take a trip to a state or national park, forest or beach. Having your retreat at any of these spaces, in many respects provides a built-in ambient environment. If you are short on time or simply desire a briefer respite, you may decide to walk to your local park or sit out in your own backyard.
Worth considering: It is a proven fact that our senses are piqued and in full play when we immerse ourselves in natural light among the sounds, sights and smells of the nature around us.
Staying Engaged
No matter where, when or in what timeframe you host your mini-retreat, the most important element is staying in the game. You must let go of all your worries and stressors if even for just a little while. Give yourself permission to play all-in; for, if you do, you will be the biggest beneficiary of a more balanced, caring, peaceful life. Similar to a meditative process, if you feel yourself getting pulled away by your thoughts, simply redirect, refocus and get back to your retreat intention. Even if you are unable to stay focused 100% of your retreat time, the point is you are developing a healthy practice that over time will become easier to manifest each time you do it.
“There is profound power in giving yourself permission to let go.”
To begin your retreat, you must first calm your breathing by engaging in slow diaphragmatic breathing (i.e., take a breath slowly in through your nose, deep enough to expand your diaphragm, then push that breath out through your mouth). With each breath in, remind yourself of the intention you created for your retreat. This is a great time to use that theme you created earlier. With each breath out, let go of all your stressors and worries. This may take some time, depending on how you are processing what’s going on in your life.
If you need more time to let go, you may need to engage in stream of consciousness writing. To accomplish this, sit down with your journal or a few sheets of blank paper to free form write continuously about what’s on your mind and what may keep you from focusing solely on your retreat intention. The vital element here is to write non-stop without taking your pen off the paper and do so without judging, evaluating, or editing what you are writing. Remember, you are doing this activity to let go and free your mind of worry.
Another practice to consider in letting go of worry is to call it out and name it. The seemingly simple practice of calling attention to your worries will help you put them away for a later time. So, go ahead and name it to let go for your retreat. Naming our emotions is part of a scientific practice called emotional intelligence and has proven time and time again to decrease the intensity of our emotions about a situation. By decreasing the intensity of the emotions contributing to our worry and stress, we are better suited to focus on our healing, restful retreat practice.
A final activity I have to offer to help facilitate you letting go of your troubles is quick and easy. Close your eyes, consciously visualize your stressors and watch yourself place them into an imaginary box or drawer. Be sure to lock that drawer! This practice is called compartmentalizing. Later on, go grab them out of the drawer to deal with them, but that’s not the focus of this article.
A Positive Ending
After you have fully engaged for 30 minutes, an hour, a half day or a luxurious full day of time just for you, it is vital you have a proper ending to your retreat. The idea here is to have proper closure to the time you have dedicated to fulfilling your intention.
A closing must include some ritual that enables you to acknowledge all you’ve done during your retreat, while also bringing the experience to a close.
What you’ll need:
A candle or light source
Incense, sage or something similar
Ambient music, bells, or other sound source (could be the sounds of nature if you are outdoors)
A closing prayer or poem
To prepare for your closing, light your candle or incense and place in a safe dish or receptacle. Turn on your music, and/or have your ambient sounds (like bells, chimes, etc.) close by and ready for use.
When you are ready to bring your retreat to a close, take a seat in a comfortable place.
Make peace with your time. Remind yourself of your retreat intention by reciting it once again.
Continue breathing calmly by engaging in the same slow diaphragmatic breathing with which you began your retreat. With each breath out, begin to recite your closing poem, or a simple mantra (like “go in peace,” for example) that signifies the ending of your retreat time.
As final homage to your retreat, pick up your incense, candle or sage and spread it around your retreat space, all while saying goodbye for now to your retreat.
“ For now friends, go in peace”
Carrie Reed is personal development and leadership coach who facilitates workshops, retreats and strategic sessions designed to help individuals and teams discover, design and achieve their best in life (personally and professionally). She owns McHale Group, LLC an international consulting firm and is the founder of the Women’s Wizdom site – a one-stop-shop for women to develop and explore their life’s possibilities in connection with other women. She is also founder of the Williamson County chapter of 100 Women Who Care – a philanthropy dedicated to providing service and funds to support local 501c3 organizations. She is the proud mama to two young boys with her husband and enjoys spending time exploring all the fun adventures this world has to offer.
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